How to Get Anything You Want From Your Parents

As a teenager in the 21st Century, life is far from easy. Considering everything you have to fret about, like completing endless hours of homework, guiding your best friend through her traumatic breakup, and dealing with those old folks in your house whom you call your parents, these could easily be the hardest years of your life. Although the solutions for avoiding homework and being a good friend have yet to be truly discovered, you can use this method to get anything you want from your parents, and still get along with them. By following the few easy steps below, you will quickly be on your way to the head of the household.
The first step is simple. Pick something you want. Don’t complicate this step because only one thing has to be chosen; it’s important to stay on task. Even if your parents do not consider this item or privilege a necessity, you know it is. So, when the decision is made, stick to it, and focus every ounce of energy available to obtaining this item.
Next, key your parents in to the thing you want without actually speaking to them. To do this, leave hints anywhere and everywhere around the house. For example, say you want a brand new Rock Band set for your Wii that you have been longing for since it came out. It is necessary to find an advertisement for Rock Band in the Sunday Ads (on sale is even better!). Flip to the page and leave it open on the kitchen table, or some other common area in your house. When your parents decide to flip through the rest of the catalogue, always return to the page containing the ad for the desired item. If you happen to be with them when they are doing this, act like you are intrigued by other things on Rock Band’s page, but never refer to Rock Band itself. But this ad happens to be from Sunday, January 7th and the current month is March, look for a new ad and/or sale for Rock Band. If this hunt failed, salvage the ad. Be patient. This step is very successful if performed the correct way. Don’t make it too obvious.
Chores. Even if you wouldn’t know where to look to find the switch for the garbage disposal, the visual attempt at chores will be a big payoff and most likely result in reward. If you really dread the fact of putting a hand in around the house, just act as if you are. Putting a dish or two away when your mother walks into the kitchen would be just right. At first she may be in the denial stage, and possibly question your intentions. At that point, reassure her you just want to help out a little and it’s really not a big deal. If you get tears on her behalf, you have been successful.
The next step is to act like a rock star. Bang on pots and pans with wooden spoons and sing even louder in the shower. Show your parents how much you deserve and are deprived of the item, again without verbally telling them. Making quick side comments—for example, mentioning that the quality of your life would be increased by 14% if you received something to put all of your striving musical talents to good use—is completely acceptable.
When you feel as if you’ve done everything you can do to prep your parents for the “big question,” then you are ready. If you’re not feeling so hot about this yet, go back to step number two. Before you ask, you must make sure you are on good terms with your parents. If they are mad at you for coming home too late last night or having a room that looks as if it has been through a tornado, asking now is not a good idea. In this situation, do everything in your power to get back over to their good side, and then continue here. When you are almost positive they will hug you with open arms as soon as you ask them, then you are ready. Make this step casual. Do not make it a huge deal to your parents that you’re finally asking for something that you deserve. In an informal way, catch them at their best time of day. For example, maybe your mother is not a morning person, but she is a wide-eyed and cheerful owl at night. Evening would be the best time to ask in this situation. So when a decision in regards to timing is made, ask then. To start conversation, a compliment beforehand always works well, as in a quick: “Hey mom, that new hairdo you’ve got, it’s really a hit!” By this point, you should be able to tell what her answer will be, so if you’re feeling good karma, pop the question. If not, wait till a better time or repeat a few previous steps.
With your fingers crossed and everything, now is the time to ask the question. And if your parentals reply with a simple “Why wouldn’t we get that for you!” or “We’ve been waiting for you to ask!” then you know you’re still floating above the water. If you don’t quite get this kind of response, repetition is your friend. By continually asking them the same question, maybe phrased in a different way each time, the chances of them changing their mind is very likely. Also by re-asking for a day or two days, you can see if they will budge on their decision.
If it has been a few days and those crabby parents of yours don’t seem to be budging, don’t lose hope! The next step is to mope around the house as if your life is completely over. Don’t tell them anymore, but show how your life is truly horrible now that you can’t put your musical talent to good use with a Rock Band set. Although you do want to make them feel guilty, don’t go overboard by letting them know they should feel guilty. This guilt will soon cause them to pity you and hopefully give in and make the big purchase.
At this point, if your parents are just being flat-out stubborn, you have two choices. You can either attempt to go through this entire process again or you can get a job to pay for it yourself. Statistics show that most choose the first option, considering working as a teenager is just plain lame. If the first is chosen, then, again, don’t lose hope. Your parents will have to give in sooner or later. After all, what’s better than spending your time getting something you want from your parents by beating the system and proactively working your butt off for it?