Unexpected Christmas

Like all other kids around the world, I had hardly gotten sleep that Christmas Eve night, in anticipation for my first cell phone—my ticket to endless communication with the entire world (read: my friends). So, when my mother awakened me that Christmas morning, I was prepared to run and open my treasures. What I had instead been woken up to was the most terrible news I could fathom.

“Kaitlyn I have bad news for you,”

Bad news? On Christmas? There’s no such thing. “What?” I asked, rubbing my eyes.

My mother then paused for a moment and softly said, “My cousin Paul has been in a terrible car accident and did not make it.”

I could not believe it! I did not think such a terrible thing could happen, let alone on Christmas Day! I immediately burst into tears.

Not only had he been in perfect health, but we were all expecting to see him that day for Christmas at my great aunt’s house. We had just seen him the previous night at our traditional Christmas Eve dinner. He was perfectly fine; nothing could have been better. My whole family was so upset and could not even imagine this happened. I did not want to experience the feeling of going to her house without him. That morning after we received that dreadful phone call, we all rushed to visit my great aunt, who was probably in the worst state I had ever seen her in. Not only had I never seen her cry before but I have never in my life seen her with such a distressed and upset look on her face. With mascara running down her cheeks and her eyes red and swollen from crying, she could barely say a word.

When I saw her she gave me a big hug and said, “Everything is going to be okay.”

“Then why does it feel like it’s not going to be,” I said quietly.

“Because everything is so unexpected and it’s just really hard on everyone right now but I promise it will be okay.”

No matter what anyone told me I still knew that this was going to be the worst Christmas ever.

There had never been a time I have not looked forward to Christmas before, but this year I was certainly not looking forward to anything. I do not think enough gifts and food in the world could turn this Christmas around. However that afternoon we went back over to see the rest of my family and to show respect. When we arrived it was not the “warm Christmas feeling” that we usually experience, it was cold, quite and depressing.

Snow, presents, family, food, everything was there that usually fills the Christmas spirit; it just was not the same. No matter what anyone did or said nothing changed. Even though it was Christmas Day, it just did not matter. We still carried through with all the same traditions that we do every year; it was just hard to see a name on presents but no one there to receive them. The only thing that helped my family get through that holiday was just having us all be together.

Christmas night we all stayed extremely late at my great aunt’s house. Some family members stayed the night, but my family just went home for a couple hours of sleep before we returned the next morning. That morning we had to discuss what no one had wanted to talk about the night before-the funeral plans. We all decided that we were going to have the viewing the following day and the funeral service the day after the viewing.

Although I was lucky enough to never attend a funeral before this one, I unfortunately had to attend my first one. All sorts of feelings and emotions were streaming through me. How was it going to be? What would I do? Who would all be there? All these questions were rushing through my head making me more nervous. Not the excited nervous you get before a special date, that nervous that you get before getting in trouble for doing something absolutely wrong. My parents had told me that if it was too much for me to handle I did not have to go, but I went because I knew it was something I had to do.

The following day was the first day of the viewing and my family and I all went together early enough so that we were there before anyone else got there. We had to stay the whole time for both of the viewing sessions. That day I saw family members that I had not seen in years and those who I had never even met before or did not remember ever meeting in my life. At that point I did not care if the president came in I was so over hearing everyone’s apologies, they just made me more upset as opposed to helping the situation.

The next day, I had to attend the funeral service, which was another thing that I had never experienced before so I was not aware of what to expect. The church was crowded with family members, friends, and co-workers of his. I had never seen so many heartbroken and depressed people in my life and I do not want to ever again. It gave me a sort of uneasy feeling, one like I had just got kicked in the stomach and had a loss for air. That is when I realized why my parents had told me it was optional for me to go.

Seeing all the people in the condition they were, I thought to myself, “I do not know if I can handle this,” but I knew I had to stay strong and continue through with it.

Despite going to bed that Christmas Eve ready to receive presents, I realized, through tragedy, that I already am gifted with the greatest present of all: family. Of course who would not want a brand new outfit or shinny new cell phone for Christmas? However, remember; those are just luxuries and unlike your family you will not have and love them forever.