Top 5 ways to be more like me:
1. Learn how to use a computer
2. Meet my father
3. Prove people wrong ... all of the time
4. Learn to play tennis (well)
5. Become a perfectionist
So, there's this guy. He has dark short curly hair, big brown eyes, and is about five foot ten inches. Considering my blond hair, blue eyes, and gender .. saying that this man and myself look nothing alike is an understatement, but if you saw him from the inside .. you could easily get us confused. Meet my loving father, Alan Bruce Karelitz. If you wanted to become more like myself, all you would half to do is become more like my good 'ol dad. Everything from our accident prone klutziness to our first and last initials are identical. When I was a little kid, people used to refer to me as my dad's "shadow," because no matter where he was, I was beside him (if not dangling off of his back).
Our minds even work the same. When my dad was driving me to work in the morning about two summers ago, we unfortunately got stuck in traffic. When we finally reached the front, we of course were stopped by a tall post with a light hanging off that just so happened to be bright red. This was our luck. But at that moment, I was not thinking about the traffic, or how late I would be for work ... I was simply thinking about the other cars. Particularly, how each and every one of the other cars, has a person in them with their own lives. Literally a whole four seconds later, my dad tells me how it's amazing how all of the different people in each car has their own problems, their own lives, and their own issues. Wow. As shocking and unexaggereated as this tale happens to be, it doesn't surprise me one bit. My father and I think the same thoughts, at the same time, to a point where it's scary sometimes.
They say that it's the inside what counts. So if you truly wanted to "be more like me," just introduce yourself to my father sometime and get to know this guy a little. And you will be rolling, or should I say "dangling," from there.
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2 comments:
Well..this is an interesting way to explain yourself. I liked how you used another character in order to tell about yourself. Good example sitting at the red light(some of the greatest thoughts are brought about at the most random times).
Need topic, Andrea. I like it and I like your approach.
My only criticisms are the nitpicky ones:
1. You still are using ellipses (. . . ) too often, as if you are writing an email. They have a specific purpose, and that is to tell the reader you omitted information.
2. "accident-prone" --need hyphen
3. the use of the word "myself." Try to only use it when you have already in the sentence used the word "me." If you haven't, then use "me" first. In VERY few circumstances, you may use it as an intensifier: "I, myself, would not do drugs. . . ." That can get old quick, though.
But again, to speak to the larger issue here of a nicely controlled paragraph with good detail--you are right on!
Good work.
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