Why?

I sit here thinking about why things happen, and why no one knows the reasons. I feel a tear run down my face, I only wish I could have said goodbye. I don't know why he died so young. I do know that I miss him very much. I sit here, at this very spot where we would meet, just knowing that he will not show up. I wish I knew why he was called up now. He was only 17 years old. He had so much more life to live. I want it to be a dream, and when I wake up, he will meet me here and we will go and do our thing. But no, it's not going to happen, because someone had to pull a gun. Why? Sitting here all alone, makes me sick to my stomach, knowing that it could have been me. Standing there with him, not knowing that I was never going to see him alive again, makes me so sad and angry. But I have no room for anger at this point. All I want to do is sit here on this cold, wet ground on this nasty day and cry. I miss him so much. He was my best friend, and always will be. I only wish that I could have said goodbye. My white t-shirt has become soaked, with tears from all the crying. I can not take this anymore, all I want to do is scream. My friends keep telling me to go home, but I know that this very place on this very street is where I feel him the most. I can feel sad anywhere, but I feel like he is still alive when I sit on this cold, wet ground. I feel as if I can look up and he will be standing right in front of me, waiting for me to stop crying. I know that he is gone and that I will see him again, but I will sit in this very spot for a while longer and ask why.