
A light flash hits my eyes and I smile and stare with my wildest dreams finally at my finger tips. Standing in front of dozens of people snapping photos of my dressed to the nines in the magical city of Venice. The crowd is ecstatic upon my arrival to the red carped of the Venice film festival. Never had I imagined to be standing tall and being recognized by such vast amounts of people.
I am greeted by such fascinating people that I can't even explain in words how I felt on this particular evening. "Claudia, look over here." "Claudia, did you ever imagine to be standing here in Venice today?" "Claudia, Claudia Claudia." Those words rang within my mind for hours as I stood with people questioning my arrival and my feelings of which I was experiencing at this moment. I felt as though for once in my life, I was being noticed as an individual for something I had accomplished and worked at for many long days. As my cheeks begins to sore from all the smiling, the pictures keep snapping away. I do my best to maintain a sincere smile, but I can tell it's beginning to fade. I am greeted by a man who takes my hand and leads me toward the doors.
With my award from hard work behind me, I now enter the building that holds many wonders of mine. Inside, "WOW" were the only words I could retrieve from my mouth. It was as though I was standing in a fairy tale. Large chandeliers of modern crystal stood tall above my head. The "clacking" of shoes caught my attention and many astounding women walked along the marble floor. "I can't believe this is truly happening." I spoke aloud. Venice, Claudia Schiffer, film festival, this is exactly how I had pictured it.
Now, after many hours of conversing and laughs and many memories made, it was time to return to the real world and head back to reality. As we left the magnificent building of which i only dreamed of entering, I was greeted once more by the large crowd of fans of mine awaiting my farewell. The lights hit my face once more as I exited a wonderful night. Back at my hotel, I saw a newspaper with my face on the front page. My face in a Venice newspaper, dreams really do come true.
4 comments:
What's up CHAMP! :-)
There are nice examples of descriptive writing in here: "cheeks sore from smiling," "standing in a fairy tale," "clacking shoes.
Seems like your dominant impression is the "magical" feel of the evening. I can find a number of examples of words/phrases that support this.
What can you do to improve? For one, be consistent with your verb tense. In the first sentence, you write in present tense (hits, smile, stare).
The second sentence, we don't know because it isn't a sentence :-/ (no verb).
Fourth sentence past (never HAD I imagined). Then, subsequent sentences stay in past tense (greeted, rang, felt, was noticed, etc.)
Making those changes, and PARAGRPAHING would be simple, yet significant improvements to this.
I really enjoyed reading your descriptive blog...you used a lot of imagery which even if there was not a picture would allow me to envision what you were describing.
I really liked your story, it was well written and interesting.
goood job girl!
I really liked your story, it was well written and interesting.
goood job girl!
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