The day arrived that Carla was so excited for. It was the day of her 16th birthday party that she had been planning on for months. Her guest list held 30 of her closest friends. People had been asking her for weeks at school for her to invite them to her big bash but she just didn't want to. Especially her ex-best friend, Irene.
A few weeks ago her and Irene had a huge fight over a boy they both had a little crush on. The fight went a little too far and now both of the girls couldn't even look or speak to one another. It was sad to see becuase the two girls had been best friends since kindergarten. Carla just wanted to have a good time at her 16th birthday, and forget about all the things that were troubling her.
Carla was finished getting ready for her party and her friends started arriving at her house around 7:30 for the big party. Everyone that said they would be there had arrived. All of a sudden the door bell rings again around 8:30 and Carla answers the door to see Irene standing there with tears filling her eyes.
"Irene...what are you doing here?" Carla says with her voice shaking.
"I'm here because I care about you, and I really think we need to fix our old friendship." Irene said sobbing. "We used to be so close and we just let some boy come into our lives and ruin the friendship that we had."
"But Irene you knew that i liked him and you just went and took him away from me. I thought we were best friends and that isnt something best friends do." Carla said with a stern look on her face.
"I know i was a terrible best friend at the time but i was jealous of you and I didnt know what else to do." Irene said as she wiped her tears with her sweatshirt sleeve.
"I think you need to leave now, Irene. This is supposed to be a special night for me and you're ruining it by coming to my house and bringing this up." Carla said this as slamming the door in Irenes face and walking away to her friends at the party.
That night the arguement wasn't resolved, and the two girls never became friends again. Who knew one boy could come into two girls lives and ruin a friendship. Neither of them were with the boy the rest of their highschool career and they truley lost something special between the two of them: a bond of two best friends.
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2 comments:
Connie I really liked this story. Something I noticed was that for once it didn't end the way I had expected. Everyone strives for a happy ending somewhere and I think it is almost cliche to have a happy ending. I really like how you described the situation between the two girls, I could really relate to them. I also liked your colorful fonts! But my favorite part was the ending and how it wasn't resolved but taught a very good lesson. Awesome job! :)
Like Danielle, I too like the unhappy ending. It's realistic.
A few suggestions for improvement here:
1. Try to use words other than "said." I will give you a list on Monday with 100 other choices.
2. Keep trying to vary your sentence lengths. It will make your writing more graceful.
And, there's some words misspelled here, but I wanted to share a grammar tip for you.
Look at the first sentence of your second paragraph: "A few weeks ago her and Irene had a huge fight."
The correct way is, "SHE and Irene had a fight."
How do you know which one to choose? Just take out the known part (Irene) and say the sentence as you normally would.
SHE had a fight or HER had a fight ?
Of course, I am sure you now know which one it is, right?
Works every time. :-)
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