"The top 5 emotions I have felt."
1. Smart
2. Joy
3. Pain
4. Scared
5. Sad
We all go through life facing obstacles and overcoming challenges everyday, and this is what makes every person a strand of DNA; different and not quite the same as anyone else. Some people are smart, some athletic, and some hard working. Well, I try to be all three but unlike the kid who does nothing to prepare for a test and always receives the expected magical "A", I have to work hard to receive good grades. It's NOT fair. Until realizing that good grades in school were extremely important but not everything, I did not look upon myself as "smart", because I had to work so hard to do well. I had this mentality until one day working to put up a wall. The design of the wall was curved like a semicircle and the support required a perfect cut to slip into the specific angle. As we wasted a forest of lumber trying to get the exact cut, I decided to use geometry to try and find the exact angle needed. After ten minutes of hacking away at the last remains of our lumber, I slipped the board in place and it fit like a glove. I actually felt "smart" and learned that school had a point and taught me something. This showed me that even if you have to work to do well in school, other real life experiences may come easier.
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4 comments:
Very interesting story. I enjoyed your example very much. There was a lot of good examples for your topic and i really enhojoyed reading this. Very nice job. :)
You did really well writing this. I am the same way as you are. I get frustrated for the people who did not study for the test and recieved an A, where I would study for hours upon hours for that same A. I agree with your points however about using your hard work in real life experiences, and I agree with you.
1. I like that you didn't point out which emotion you were writing about by colorizing it. ha.
2. DNA? You would.
3. Work hard! Right. thats all i have to say. (:
4. Relating it to a life experience is such a nice finish.
5. I Liked.
This is pretty neat, Ryan. I like how you take a real life activity and then tie it in to school. It works really well. I have had moments like that, too.
As for how to improve, first, remember to put periods and commas inside quote marks always.
Also. . .that first line. I think I know what you are getting at, but biologically, I'm not sure you wrote it as precisely as possible. It's like a confused metaphor or something. Geneticists focus on the complex and infinite combination of strands of DNA that make us unique--not just one.
Just a thought. But, I still got your point.
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